Computer Meltdown and Resulting Consequences

The '08-'09 school year is concluding within the next two weeks. Within the past month or two I have discovered my school performance decrease. I must learn to balance a social life and academic life (studying). I blame it, in part, in my inability to stay focused for long periods of times. And it is clearly all my fault. [Maybe I am my own worst critic and I am too harsh on myself; maybe I need to be.]

Since my computer crashed midway through the semester, I discovered my reliance on technology. I rely on a "personal" computer to write papers and to study for tests.

Next year I plan to stay ahead and develop better study habits.

One word

is necessary to describe today's events: accepted. I am going on Summer Project: 7 weeks in Fort Collins, CO. I do not know what to expect over Summer break, but I hope to learn a lot through both of my experiences.

"The Constant Princess"

I find the subject of "The Constant Princess" very intriguing. In the midst of trying to locate Granada, I stumbled upon an island nation with a similar name: Grenada. The history of both are very intriguing, but I will not go into detail -- but the Internet is a wealth of knowledge. According to some of Grenada's history, the island nation was colonized by Spanish conquistadors. [Thus there is a connection between Granada, where the Spanish King and Queen resided, and Grenada.]

I found Catalina's perspective to be enchanting.Below are some excerpts:

Excerpt 1

We betray our word in three months, expelling the Jews and threatening the Moslems. Everyone must convert to the True Faith [Catholicism], and then, if there is any shadow of a doubt, or any suspicion against them, their faith will be tested by the Spanish Inquisition. It is the only way to make one nation: through one faith. It is the only way to make one people out of the great varied diversity which had been al Andalus. My mother [Queen Isabella] builds a chapel in the council chamber, and where it once said "Enter and ask. Do not be afraid to seek justice for here you will find it," in the beautiful shapes of Arabic, she prays to a sterner, more intolerant God than Allah and no one comes for justice anymore.

Thoughts
I suppose Catalina's thoughts on her faith tout an audience. While I was reading Chapter 1 I was transported into 15th century Spain, a powerful empire during that time. I could imagine the Muslim fortresses and encampments within the Spanish Empire; I could imagine the drama that unfolded during the Spanish conquest; and I could imagine the construction of a magnificent palace for the royal family. But I am more perplexed by the Gregory's apparent, and thoroughly enriching, descriptions on the religious diversity within Spain. And it is obvious that the Muslims occupied the region of Granada.

I was even more surprised to read: "It will be done [says Queen Isabella]. It is God's will and mine." Queen Isabella, a devout Catholic, claims her will is paralleled to that of God's. It is evident in the reading that Isabella was truly devout, but as Queen of Spain, I believe, it was more her will than his. King Ferdinand graciously obeys his wife's direct order saying, "It will be done. It is my duty to see that God's will is done; and my pleasure to enforce yours." Clever writing! Ferdinand must do his duty. Whether or not he obey the queen's orders is optional, though. It is also evident that the queen is equally as powerful as the king. Interesting.

Excerpt 2

It is not truly a palace, not even as those we had known at Cordoba or Toledo.
It is not a castle, nor a fort. It was built first and foremost as a garden,
with rooms of exquisite luxury so that one could live outside. It is a series of
courtyards designed for flowers and people alike. It is a dream of beauty:
walls, tiles, pillars melting into flowers, climbers, fruit, and herbs. The
Moors believe that the garden is a paradise on earth, and they have spent
fortunes over the centuries to make this "al-Yanna": the word that means garden,
secret place, and paradise.

Thoughts

What an amazing description! There is no doubt that I love the natural environment -- to describe a simple garden (al-Yanna) as paradise reminds me of the garden of Eden (Genesis 2: 4-24). It was literally a paradise on earth. The garden within the courtyard was merely an abstraction.

Music of the Day

Spring Break is over: quite uneventful but entertaining it was. I spent the first three days in Asheville, NC (from March 12 to March 14), enjoying the company of some hometown companions. The remaining seven days (from March 14 to March 20) completing a movie marathon, watching half a dozen movies in theaters and watching nearly as much at home. Some nights I decided to read (and hopefully complete) some novels and to listen to music to fall asleep.

Now back at school, I have a limited amount of time to enjoy my music. With no computer to recharge the iPod, I can only listen to my preferred playlist for a maximum of three hours (my current battery life). Some songs on my current playlist include "Reaching for Heaven" by Diana Degarmo, "Get Up" by Superchic, "Washed by the Water" by NeedtoBreathe, and "Lose it All" and "There is Nothing" by Rush of Fools, among others.

[I could address why this selection intrigues me, but "technically" I have no time for such distractions if I am to lift up my grades the remainder of the semester and pass all my classes. Maybe later.]

Other songs: "Only Hope," "You," "Learning to Breathe," "Dare You to Move" by Switchfoot --Note I lost and found my iPod outside. Not necessary to go into the details.

Is the Writer's life for me?

I suppose I lack a skill in vocal communication. I am always giddy with laughter, it seems; I mumble; I find difficulty with formulating proper sentences. I am bashful. I cannot seem to fumble on the proper words to end a conversation.

By all means, I prefer the written word. I may someday become an author: a creator of stories. I am always amazed at the skill some authors have at creating characters, setting the stage [not literally, as in theatre], and developing a plot. Most of my knowledge of the written word comes from either reading books [primarily sci/fi fantasy and historical fiction novels] or writing articles.

I am currently writing for the Johnsonian, my school newspaper. Although I am writing for the Health/Science section, I may prefer to begin writing in the Arts section. Each subject interests me to some degree. Photography: a photographer. Science, Zoology, Conservation: a scientist. As humbling as these two choices sound, I find myself lost, setting a course into uncharted territories, expecting to learn numerous things. I seem to be going outward bound.

I am inspired by Madeleine L'Engle, who, without degrees in physics, in biology, etc, was able to write the Time quartet. It amazes me that so little knowledge but some experience can inspire stories.

Spring Break

I suppose my Spring Break has been quite uneventful (in my opinion). I have watched half a dozen movies and finished reading two books. That is surprising! Since I do not often finish one book before starting another. Within the last two days I have finished "Walking on Water" by Madeleine L'Engle and "The Silver Chair" by C.S. Lewis.

I have also watched movies like "The Count of Monte Cristo," "Inkheart," "Twilight," "Pan's Labryinth," and "Watchmen."

Last Minute Preparations

So I find myself studying at the last possible minute for tests and quizzes. With Spring Break only a week away, I am now beginning to cram in the necessary knowledge in a completely illogical fashion. With tests tomorrow and Wednesday I will be glad to escape the bounds of academia and visit long-time friends as I develop stronger friendships with people.

Learning does not come naturally for me (and for anyone or anything, for that matter), but my determination and drive to finish school is dwindling. As an adventure seeker, I know I would excel in an outdoor setting; with stimulations and regulations on "where" I could go for college, I dismissed the opportunity to stay in my hometown and learn about outdoor education at Montreat College.

So: my to do list (yes, I am giving into the pressure and cracking down): (1) Study for Zoology Test (2) Prepare for GIS quiz (which will be partially hands-on), and (3) Read for Ecology Psychology.

The work may be tedious, but I need to learn that it will benefit me. I strive to become more creative. Over the last few weeks I have rediscovered my passion for photography and (however childish it sounds) began to color again. I desire to write; to write a story, create its characters, develop its plot, and describe its setting. The elements of literary inquiry have always been apart of me: I am an analyst who takes things literally, as one of my friends cordially pointed out to me today.

So long my friends!

Women and Handbags

I decided to go to the "Alfred Ward Gallery Talk" tonight and was glad I went. I began to understand the unique designs in his handbag collection. [to be continued, when I have time.]

Taylor Swift -- Love Story

Love Story lyrics

We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.


See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
See you make your way through the crowd
and say hello;

Little did I know
That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."
And I was crying on the staircase,
begging you, 'Please, don't go.'

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"
But you were everything to me; I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Romeo save me; they're tryin' to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Oh.

I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town.

And I said,
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think-"

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet. you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress;
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Oh, oh.

We were both young when I first saw you...

Source: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/taylor-swift-lyrics/love-story-lyrics.html

Commentary to come later.

A Future -- Where?

I have an active imagination: I can often picture myself doing something, going anywhere, or being with someone (whether it is becoming a writer, living abroad, or even joining the military). I know...right! These pictures, though, are mere illusions in my mind. I entertain these ideas (sometimes far-fetched, sometimes beyond my capabilities) as a direction to my future: Is it foolish, simply wishful thinking?

I think so.

This past Fall, I greatly considered joining the military -- Army, Navy, Marines, Coast Guard, or Air Force. My preferences are now in the Navy or the Coast Guard. I ask myself: is this my future? I can imagine joining for a certain amount of time -- maybe 5 to 10 years -- before returning to academic life and studying conservation biology (anywhere!). And joining the military would lead me into that direction. Is that selfish? Not only would I gain the benefits of becoming a part of an integral community but I would develop a stronger sense of character -- the values of teamwork, commitment, responsibility, and protection -- instilled in every action.

Just check out the Navy and Coast Guard's recruiting websites. Both are filled with inspiring messages to fulfill ones dreams. Both, upon entering the websites, create "Accelerate Your Life" (Navy) and "The Shield of Freedom" (Coast Guard). As a daydreamer I find myself easily attracted to these sites, whether or not it is what I am supposed to do is questionable.

___________________________________________________
In my dorm room, my roommate and I have decorated the walls with posters, pictures, and proverbs (thank you Katherine). My side of the room expresses who I am: I have a poster of John Lennon's song "Imagine" and posters of TV shows, like Kyle XY, and movies like Elizabeth: the Golden Age and The Chronicles of Narnia. The bookshelf contains hundreds of books: selections from my favorite author Madeleine L'Engle, books on history, books on Christian living, and books on nature. It's an ambiguous library.

Katherine's corner is less materialistic. She has a select number of books (some required for school and some are not). Photographs of her friends and family dominant the room. On a corner wall close to her bed, she has a poster of the Names of God. Jewlery and an assortment of gifts from friends clutter the desk space. Her space is an excellent example of a dedicated walk with Christ. [I admire you so much! You are an inspiration to me and I need your guidance.]

Since my computer crashed last weekend, I have had to do my work on Katherine's computer. Here, I am not in my circle of comfort (at my desk) but in hers. Beside the mirror, she has posted several biblical proverbs of which I have not heeded until now. I think one is relevant to my problem: Proverbs 19: 20.

Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your
life.