After closely examining the end of the script for "The Return of the King," I was left suprised by Gandalf's wisdom, "I will not say: 'Do not weep,' for not all tears are evil." This summer is a bitter-sweet reminder that God is love. I have denied myself the joy of writing time and time again: I have been denying God's gift. I didn't grasp the concept that you must love what you do, and do what you love. Although that may seem paradoxal, it is not.
As I grapple with my refined faith in God, friends can provide guidance and wisdom, and I must allow them to. I must ask for their help as they strengthen me. I can think of many friends who have melted away the course metal of my hardened heart. As Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." When I think of something being sharpened I think of a pencil sharpener. At some point the pencil lead narrows: you marked the spot. If I am to write, it must come from the heart.
My first name Elizabeth which means "oath of God." I have always been skeptical about an interpretation. An oath means I must have a commitment to God, not just a one night's stand but a marriage in Christ -- in His truth. I will only receive rest in God when I ask for it. I have a restless spirit. Augustine writes to God "You made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it finds rest in you." That rest is coupled with the revelation of our imperfections, of our lustful pleasures, and of our desires.
The head knowledge I have of God is finally becoming heart knowledge. Yesterday evening after the last discipleship meeting, the three of us (Kristen, Tessa, and I) went to Jamba Juice and they flavor I chose was Berry Fulfilling. Inwardly I was thinking it has been a very fulfilling time here in Colorado. I have found a new life verse (chapter): Psalms 15.
Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
who may live on your holy hill?
He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellow man,
who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the Lord,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,
who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does things things
will never be shaken.
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